Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Yummy jummy funny lucky gummy bear



Oh I'm a gummy bear
Yes I'm a gummy bear
Oh i'm a yummy jummy funny lucky gummy bear
I'm a jolly bear
Cause I'm a gummy bear
Oh im a movin, grovin, jammin, singin gummy bear
Oh yeah
ba ba da duby duby yum yum
ba ba da duby duby yum yum
ba ba da duby duby yum yum
ba ba da duby duby yum yum
Three times you can bite me
gummy gummy gummy gummy gummy bear *pop*

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The Cowboy

Montana Cowboy


A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a pasture when a brand-new BMW pulled up. The driver, in a Bryony suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and Hermes tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The man parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his miniaturized HP printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the man select one of the animals and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

The cowboy says to the man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You work in Washington DC…probably in the House or Senate," says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the man, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me
how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows, this is a herd of sheep.

"Now give me back my dog."



I had to laugh ....

Memories: from generation to generation.

How to remember the Ten Plagues of Egypt provided by my father ... now I will have to warp future generations!

= = = = =

TEN PLAGUES OF PESACH
(sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)


For the first plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
A river that was all blood-y

For the second plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the third plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the fourth plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the fifth plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
{Slow} Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the sixth plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Boils causing itching
{Slow} Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the seventh plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow} Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the eighth plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Tons of flying locusts
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow} Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the ninth plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Days of pure darkness
Tons of flying locusts
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow} Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the tenth plague of Pesach, Pharaoh came to see
Death of the first born
Days of pure darkness
Tons of flying locusts
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow} Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

Monday, April 02, 2007

VoTD : Psalm 121

Psalm 121 (NRSV)

I lift up my eyes to the hills--
from where will my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time on and forevermore.

Worship & Lent

Again this week the challenge to me was to get into worship. Our worship service Sunday was fine, tight and complete the message fit well into this typical holy week prior to Easter. Still, something in my own heart was missing.

Worship is more than just songs. It is more than just scripture, it is more than preaching ... this week I am going to purpose o find a heart of worship, not just for Sunday but for the rest of the week.

We discount Lent, we discount Ash Wednesday and we discount the Passover in many of our churches instead we focus on one event, Easter. We do this many times because others, that we do not agree with celebrate or honor these events in the Christian faith. Still there is something to be said about throwing out tradition. MY wife is fond of saying just because I don't believe in it doesn't make it a wrong tradition/program/event ... sometimes I would disagree, but not on these.

...